Trust In Relationship: Why Is It Important And How To Build It?


By: Kalpana M, MA (English)

Trust in relationships is key to its growth. Consider what it might be like to live a life without trust: you want to share a secret with your partner but feel unsure; your partner checks their messages from a friend, and you think they are lying, and so on. Relationships are difficult to maintain. Every minute of your life becomes a nightmare if you don’t trust each other.

In fact, a relationship without trust is quite chaotic and becomes dysfunctional. This post elaborates on the necessity of trust in a relationship and how to create and rebuild it.

What Is Trust In A Relationship?

Trust is the faith you have in someone that they will always remain loyal to you and love you. To trust someone means that you can rely on them and are comfortable confiding in them because you feel safe with them.

It is the building block for any relationship without which the foundation will always remain shaky.

Why Is Trust Important In A Relationship?

Trust is that foundation upon which your relationship can survive the hardest of times. In fact, without trust, you cannot sustain your relationship for a long time.
Lack of trust is one of the reasons for relationships to fall apart. Here is why trust is the driving factor in relationships:

  • You cannot love without trusting a person. As mentioned earlier, trust is the building block of love. Just like how a child trusts her mother and thereby loves her, your partner needs to know that you are trustworthy and won’t ditch them in difficult times. This feeling is important for love to sprout and flourish.
  • Trust helps overcome obstacles. It is the binding factor for all cracks and differences in a relationship. You know deep down that you can overcome the problems and feel safe and secure with your partner.
  • Trust helps in healing. When you get hurt in your relationship, you get over it due to the deep trust that you have in your spouse.
  • It helps control your emotions. The degree to which you trust a person determines how much of yourself you want to give to him/her. If you are hurt or annoyed at them, it is only trust that tells you that there must be some reason behind their annoying behavior.
  • It is reassuring. Trust gives you the reassurance that your partner loves you despite the arguments and fights that you might have. That is the key to a long-lasting relationship.
  • You don’t need justifications. When you trust your partner absolutely you don’t need to explain or justify everything. You know that your partner will understand and trust your actions and decisions.
  • It teaches you about personal time and space. You don’t feel insecure about giving your partner their space. In fact, trust helps you stay close in spite of the obstacles.

How To Build Trust In Your Relationship

Building trust is a two-way process, it is important to trust and equally important to be trusted. That requires mutual effort and commitment. Before building trust, you need to understand each other’s expectations and what trust means to you. Here are some ways to build trust in your relationship:

  1. Admit your mistakes: It’s natural to make mistakes, but owning them is not easy. The first thing on your agenda of building trust is to admit your mistakes. Don’t try to cover up your mistakes; the situation becomes messier if you do so. Repentance shows that you want to build trust.
  2. Forgive each other: And when your spouse owns up his/her mistake, be humble enough to forgive. Don’t hold on to past fights, let go, accept, and make the most of ‘now’.
  3. Earn your trust: Trust is not readily available in any relationship. You need to earn it by taking care of your behavior and actions.
  4. Be exemplary: Behave the way you want your spouse to be. It’s as simple as that. Be truthful, responsible, faithful, caring, and honest; all these will influence your spouse to reciprocate.
  5. Listen actively: When your spouse is talking to you, listen actively and without judging. They will also listen to you when you talk. This habit lays the foundation for establishing trust.
  6. Keep your promises: When you make a promise make sure you stick to it. Don’t make promises just for the sake of keeping your partner happy because breaking a promise is one the easiest ways to breach trust.
  7. Show interest: Know your partner’s tastes and hobbies. Show your genuine interest by being inquisitive, ask questions, and learn from them. If your spouse gets the vibes of your sincerity, you will earn their trust.
  8. Be empathetic: Empathize with your partner, understand and fulfill their needs. Try to understand their problem by putting yourself in their shoes. That can help you gain a perspective and build trust.
  9. Communicate transparently: Talk openly and honestly and make sure that you discuss important things in person instead of texting or talking on the phone. Messages can be misinterpreted. Talking face-to-face is easier as you can understand each other’s intentions, emotions, and body language. Effective communication is an important element in building trust.
  10. Resolve rifts: Address the conflicts quickly as and when they arise. Don’t brush them under the carpet and let them pile up. Resolve them and move on.
  11. Clear your doubts: If you have any doubts in your relationship talk to your partner about them instead of hesitating to ask them.
  12. Keep secrets: Keep your private space private. Guard your secrets and don’t let outsiders intrude.
  13. Judge less love more: Don’t criticize or judge your partner. Instead, put forth your opinions in a constructive way with the intention of helping your partner grow. Respect each other’s differences without judging.
  14. Support each other: Being supportive is a given in any relationship. When you support your partner, they would want to try new things and are not hesitant to take up risks because they know that they can fall back on you for support.

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